By Von-Der By
The best form of self-love is allowing yourself to grow in different areas of your life. For Remalyn Hijara or Rem, a free-spirited woman who is currently residing in Siargao, growth only comes when you let loose and allow yourself to experience the unfamiliar, even if it might scare you.
It was rather a routinary and hectic start for Rem being a CPA and having to work as the head of finance for a private company at the age of twenty-five. She would laughingly recall how she had no sense of time and boundaries back then as her office became both her workplace and a place where she showers...Literally.
"Nothing matters for me other than my job...But it was really stressful. I was going from one burn-out to another. Like girl, I would be puking in the bathroom at four in the morning from intense stress... I guess it was part of being young. I didn't know how to say no."
But despite her undeniable success in moving up the corporate ladder and the power that she felt being a career woman, some areas of her life had been left abandoned.
It was only during a trip to La Union in 2017 where she was introduced to surfing and when she realized that there is more to life than just being in an office. That there is so much more to do than just living trying to survive. By then, Rem's perspective in life has widened, and it became a start of a roller coaster experience that eventually led her to designing her life the way she wanted.
When talking about finally seeing the world in a different lens, she mentioned that surrounding herself with the right people became beneficial to her growth, both socially and spiritually. Having lived in different areas of the Philippines, meeting both local and foreign people, it made her realize that the reality she had once lived is not the only reality there is. It didn't matter how she started anymore; it now matters where she wants and loves to go from where she started.
Finally tasting her long-overdue taste of freedom, she has become more assertive and in-control of her decisions that benefit her well being. This includes falling in love with a healthy lifestyle through surfing and doing fitness, specifically Crossfit.
"At first, I have a goal (when doing fitness)... I want to do it for a potential reward. But eventually, I enjoy it so much that I don't even care anymore. It's not about looking fit and being healthy are just a cherry on top. I don't exercise because I want to be fit. No. I just do it because I love doing it."
She emphasizes that besides doing fitness out of love, she continues doing it because she is motivated by progress and growth. There is something transcendental in the idea of improving and being better as days go by. She believes that it is part of human nature to experience, learn, and grow. It is even better when these are shared with the people who support you.
Having a good financial mindset is also a part of self-love according to Rem. Coming from a financial background, she knows what money can do as it helps you support the kind of life you want for yourself. Self-love is building a life where you are financially free and where you are able to support your lifestyle. All areas of yourself—physical, social, mental—are in any way connected with one another, so it is just right to pay attention to all of them.
Exploration, growth, designing one's life, and balance—this has been Rem's process of self-love in a nutshell. It was only when she stepped out of the familiar that she was able to discover what else she can do as a woman. As a result, she has excelled not only in one area of her life, but she was able to progress as a woman who is physically fit, mentally strong, socially aware, and financially stable. This is the highest form of self-love that one can do to oneself. And for as long as Rem continues to prioritize herself through her self-love process, she will continue to take hold of her life making her the strong and powerful woman that she always been.
